Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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