my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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