Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
