I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
