My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just threw up on my dentist
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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