Dual....:-)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
