remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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