I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
