But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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