hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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