Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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