Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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