OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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