he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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