Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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