People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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