He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize