At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
