I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
