I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
