No awkward lesbian experiences without me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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