Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
