i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
