For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
