I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
