hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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