if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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