please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
