He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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