Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Holy sore nipples Batman
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
