Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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