Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
