No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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