Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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