There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
