Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
