Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
