I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
