porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
