Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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