found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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