I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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