WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
