its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
