I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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