People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
