im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize