We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize