we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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