I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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