your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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