Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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